My Kiara Dream

 I haven't had a dream about my little girl for a long time. When I got home from work I cried for a while and watched a senseless movie. I went to sleep in my purple sheets. I was told yesterday to surround myself in purple. * my favorite color!😉

I dream about Kiara. I dream a little about Jerome too. But he was not his 21 year old mini Jeremy version. He was the cute chubby little football player who still had passion for life and his mama. There were NO VIGILS in site. No mention of them, they were gone.

Kiara was in high school, slender with medium length hair. In my dream we "went north" I wasn't sure what that meant in my dream but when I woke up, I realized that I technically live north of where she is right now. She came to me on her own and was relaxed and calm and called me mama again. She let me take a selfie of us which is a big deal because the last one is for her 12th birthday. She is 15 now. She apologized to me and I told her there was plenty of time to talk about all that garbage later. I wanted to learn the new Kiara. She wanted help getting rid of Jeremy's things. The things she had were strange but  I helped her. I remember her mentioning that "next Wednesday she is officially a Senior". We had a small weight set that looked kind of weathered, we pulled over and added it to someones yard decorations of rusted metal stuff. It was neatly arranged, not junky. Strange I know, but to her that was leaving it in good hands.  When she walked in front of me she turned back and extended her hand and told me, "Come on mama!" Jerome was running around my car and we were telling him to be careful with traffic. He was wearing a blue muscle shirt with basketball shorts. One of the outfits I remember him wearing. 

I remember Kiara left the dream scene and I asked Jerome where he lived and if he was still with Kaelynn. He told me, "What does it matter, you have your daughter back." This Jerome was older maybe current age. I remember thinking that he looked older than his age. Time was not gentle with this kiddo. He wasn't obese like Jeremy anymore. He was normal sized. 

There was more to my dream but I am barely writing it at 10:30 in the morning. I have been up cleaning for 3 hours. I took a break to write my two events down because I woke up this morning with intentions of moping around and then packing a bag to head to Parker for my normal routine. I instead woke up and realized how stinkin' cute my condo is. I tended to my plants and my bedroom. I didn't message Andy. He hasn't messaged me either. 

Let's see what happens. My life is different now that I have the bartending job. I originally got it to fill the evenings that I would otherwise be sitting at home alone. I have no problem being alone. I'm just tired of being lonely.