This virus rocked the United States. Our way of life changed drastically. School, sports, employment, shopping, leisure activities, traveling all came to a screeching halt. The only people out and about had to wear masks and be ESSENTIAL. People were losing jobs, suddenly furloughed, salaries were slashed 10%, people worked from home or split time in between the office and home. People were buying out PPE and making masks from home. People were wearing hazmat suits to the store and gloves. Life is crazy. The shelves were bare of toilet paper, cleaners, bleach, paper products, baking supplies, fabric, elastic, snaps, thread, crafts, and hand soap. I still have yet to see yeast and Lysol spray return to the shelves, and meat has gone to $7.99 a pound due to the meat plant closures.
A black man named George Floyd was killed while in police custody May 25th in Minneapolis, MN. He was a victim of police brutality and this rocked the nation. Police brutality and black hate crimes happen more often than we know. I think that everyone was so crazy from being quarantined that this exploded throughout the US. Because of this; riots, burning buildings, looting and spray painting messages regarding "black lives matter" were everywhere. I don't know what would be worse; being killed by someone who is taking a situation too far or dying from a man made virus. I went to Walmart yesterday and the parking lot was filled with cars loaded with people, spray painted with messages like; "black lives matter, white people need to speak up, end police brutality, f the police, fire ____, Trump did this, etc". I was scared. Who knows what these people were thinking they could accomplish in Westminster!
Because of the quarantine orders, all the ways I could see my daughter were taken away from me. Softball was cancelled. That meant no practice and no games. Jeremy even asked me if she could go live with his PARENTS?? I was shocked that he would even suggest that she be alone with them in an isolated mountain for MONTHS!!! School was now online. No choir concert, no trips, no science experiments. We have no therapist because we were dismissed due to the lack of progress in 6 months. . . . more on that later. I miss my daughter. She doesn't text, engage with me, or care about me. I got a simple Happy Mother's Day text at 10 AM on Mothers Day from Kiara. I didn't reply, I was too busy crying and being heartbroken. I was stripped of all my Motherhood badges. All I have left are the few things I took from my home and the stretch marks that show that I once carried two babies and lost a third too soon. I don't know anything about her. Its heart wrenching.
As for Jerome, his Vigil training continues. I miss him when I am reminded of the sweetness of his youth. I don't miss the teenager. There were no papers to write for Mother's Day this year, so I didn't get to see him and Ernesto didn't get to make him dinner. My son has a girlfriend now who has family in Arvada. I drive by Tabor street every time I'm in Arvada to check on my daughter. I guess I should be happy that my daughter isn't home alone ALL the time. She's there with Jerome and his girlfriend. In the evening, her car is there too. I can't honestly say that I wish I was there hanging out with them. I would probably be feeling despair, because Jerome is just like HIM. What kind of girl is she? How is this poor girl going to get hurt? Does you know who hit on her and make her feel creepy like his dad made me feel? Does my daughter latch on to her because she has no reputable female around her? Jeremy didn't start hitting me until about a year into our relationship, so she is safe for now. She seems kind of bitchy so she'll be ok standing up for herself when he is the asshole that he is or makes his snarky comments. She's established in hobbies like bike riding and car racing and owns her own car, so he won't be able to suck the life out of her with his low self esteem and lack of confidence. Not like me. I was so gullible, believing in Love. I was so desperate to please, I let HIM walk all over me and later my babies.
